Employees lied about their affair - what can we do? 07-09-2008

I run a staffing company, and have many field staff. In the office are just myself, a client relations director and my assistant. I was just recently looking for a new client relations director and one of my field staff applied. He has also during his employment as a field staffer, befriended my office assistant, they work out, go to bars together etc. None of which was kept from me, my assistant would talk about "him" as a friend. I decided to hire "him" for the director of client relations. After a week of "him" being in the position, he drops a bombshell in my lap, that he and my assistant are engaged in a serious relationship, and said that they have been keeping it from me, because they did not want it to affect his opportunity of getting the promotion, or make me think that it would affect their productivity etc. Initially I felt very betrayed, because my assistant has been working with me for 2 yrs. and knows how approachable I am. Also, I feel this was unethical, and unprofessional, because they waited until after his promotion to tell me. He is now one of her superiors, so to me this does create an issue. Also, we are a small office, it is an intimate work setting, it is impossible for anyone to hide anything. I am really at a crossroads, and do not know how to handle this professionally. I have lost a great amount of trust, and respect for both of them. Would appreciate your feedback.

Rita Risser Replies:

This sounds like a difficult situation for you emotionally, and I'm not sure if I can help, but here goes. I assume you are an at-will employer and, if you wanted, you could probably fire both of them (but contact a local attorney just to be sure). But firing them won't make your life any easier in the short term.

As you say, it is a small office and you will see whatever is going on. You could keep both of them and just watch to make sure nothing untoward happens. I would ask them to put in writing that they are in a voluntary relationship and that it has not and will not affect their working relationship.

A third option is to demote him back to the field and hire a replacement for him. The larger issue is your lack of trust of them. You are hurt by that. It is hard to work with people who you feel have lied to you. However, you can understand perhaps why they did what they did. If they are both really great employees, you may just have to swallow your hurt feelings. I've been in a similar situation and it took a few months but eventually we both felt normal and ended up working together for years and years.

Hope that helps.

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